Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
