can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
