ya dads aren't the best wingmen
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
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