is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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