just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
either way he was missing a nipple.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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