ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
