Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
