i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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