bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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