For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?