just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
