So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
