Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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