this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize