Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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