He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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