just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
