In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
