just tell him i said nine months
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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