i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
