It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
