he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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