His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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