Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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