Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
