C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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