My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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