she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
