you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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