I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
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just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.