i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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