I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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