Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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