you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
