White coat. Heels.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
