Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
