Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
