We won't sleep together?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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