No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize