How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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