His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
