did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
