Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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