i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
