That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
