she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize