So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
