good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
