Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
honey bunches of taint.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
