you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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