thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This is the high leading the old right now
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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