Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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