I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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