Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize