Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
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It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
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Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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