I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize