I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Say something about gay babies.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
